These identities are birthed by your shame, anger, fear of rejection, fear of judgment, insecurities, and pain. Having one identity is tough enough but when you lie, you have to keep up with multiple ones. If I didn’t feel like my truth was so pathetic, I would never have felt the need to compulsively lie.Īnyone who lies habitually is on a self-made life raft that deflates very quickly until another lie is told. And there is no lonelier place to be than the space of feeling like you have no worth. The root of the weed that lying is, will always be the liar’s belief that they are not enough. They would shame me to others behind my back in the name of expressing concern – instead of having a genuine concern to ask me if I was okay. A lot of it had to do with witnessing the adults lie and being around certain family members who were so insecure themselves, they got satisfaction from being the “Gotcha!” police. And there are a million more reasons why I continued to lie as a teenager and young adult.Ī lot of them had to do with the atmosphere I grew up in. There are a million reasons why I felt like I had no choice but to lie at such a young age. Without lying, everyone would be in on the joke that I embarrassingly tried to be the only one in on… T he extent to which we will justify the wrong of lying in the name of emotional survival is incredible.
I didn’t have the awareness that I do now, but I knew the difference between right and wrong. The lying continued well into my teens and early twenties.
As I grew up, so did my self-deception, insecurities, and ability to paint an entirely different picture than, unbeknownst to me, most people could see right through. I had well-intended parents who taught me not to lie but in my little mind, there was no other choice. I was never a pathological liar but I definitely used to be a compulsive liar.Įarly in my childhood, lying became a habit that soon became a way of life. Before I get into the signs of dating a pathological liar, I want to give you some background on my own personal experiences with lying.
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